Space to Listen with Yelda Ali

Yelda Ali graciously connected with Department of Sound to present the importance of listening, how we can become better listeners, and what it means to hold space for one another.

About Yelda Ali

Yelda Ali is a New York City-based artist and activist known for women's rights and mental health advocacy. In her commitment to creating self-sustaining safe spaces, she has produced over 100 educational experiences internationally. In 2015 Yelda founded Camel Assembly, a women's empowerment movement that now comprises thousands of women globally. Yelda believes in #MarchingDaily​, a hashtag she created to serve as a reminder that lasting change happens through daily efforts towards self and community. In recent years, Yelda has become a voice of representation for the Afghan diaspora, sharing stories of her culture and upbringing.

Listening is an incredibly important component of healing and connecting. Creating a space for listening is powerful for both the holder and the receiver as it invites compassion, connection, trust, and empathy. 

Yelda breaks down the basic ingredients for listening: 

1. Don’t multi-task listening. Face the person you’re speaking to. Hold eye contact.

2. Be non-judgmental, in both your thoughts and response.

3. Stay open-minded and willing to learn.

4. Block out distractions.

5. Don’t finish other people’s thoughts. 

3 Takeaways:

1. “Holding space for someone without the intent to listen is more harmful than helpful. Be honest if you’re unable to make space for them at that moment.”
   
   So if you are feeling stressed, distracted, and/or unable to fully listen to something, it is important to let that person know. That sort of honesty emanates a deeper trust and safe space for conversations in the future.

2. Avoid phrases that evoke tough love. 

   1. Get it together

   2. You should have…

   3. You shouldn’t have…

   4. Suck it up

   5. Get over it

3. Don’t focus on saying the right thing. DO focus on…

   1. Being curious

   2. Being empathetic

   3. Being present

   4. Being conscious

   5. Being attentive

What  You can do to make safe space for others:

1. Don’t take on someone else’s pain

2. Refrain from fix-it mode

3. Observe without judgment

Tips for being an effective and empathetic listener:

1. Self-awareness: understand your own style of communication

2. Mindfulness: practice focusing so you can be actively listening, not just agreeing.

3. Ask questions: if you don’t understand them, you can clarify instead of assuming what they’re saying. 

What it really comes down to is that listening is enough. By simply offering a vulnerable space where you can direct your full attention to the speaker and display empathy and validation of their thoughts can instrumentally aid someone with their mental processes and mental wellness.